Positionality matters.Muscle memories matter.This article traces the journey of a white Russian female scholar from voice, agency, and her ultimate reach toward epistemic humility.I take the reader through formative experiences as an emerging scholar in Soviet Russia and then as an academic researcher with significant epistemic privilege in the United States.
My understanding of my scholarly voice grows from no legitimate voice to an inflicted collective voice, to hysterical individualism asus vivobook r565ea and then an internally dialogic voice.1 Concurrently, I reflect on my coming into agency through writing for publication and doing research while I grow into and out of elitism and a desire for domination, to embracing multiple centres of knowledge and an emerging lava me 3 smart guitar new subjectivity.The through-line of this journey is my continuous reach for epistemic humility.As my new researcher subjectivity evolves, I aim to practice my agency in a sustainable collectivity.